Merchandise >> Girl, I'm really just an animal

Merchandise - "Time"

(Katorga Works, 2012)

The title of "The next Smiths" has been floated in regards to many bands over the last 25 years, just like "The next Jordan" has been applied to everyone from Harold Miner to Vince Carter.  Merchandise crawled out of the Tampa punk scene with a polished, remarkably full-bodied sound that does evoke the Smiths, as well as stuff like Echo & the Bunnymen, the Chameleons, the Sound, Gang Of Four, and the Church.  I think the Smiths thing comes mainly from how the singer holds out his notes and lets them unfold luxuriously in the ether, and of course the tastefully skillful guitar-playing and catchy melodies.  Much like recently-minted star soul crooner The Weeknd and very serious rappers Das Racist, they give away their music for free on the popular mp3 format at their website, though vinyl will cost you.  (I did buy this album on LP at their show.)  I assume / hope they are named after the immortal Fugazi anthem "Merchandise".

Right from the opening (very Fugazi-esque) bassline, you know this band is swinging for the fences, and they pull it off in stunning fashion.  It took me a while to realize that the guitarist plays parts that sound like a singing voice, adding sort of phantom backing vocals to the music.  Johnny Marr aficionados will know what I'm talking about.  My only qualm is that they use a drum machine rather than a human drummer.  I really don't get excited like this about guitar-rock bands very often, but when it's done this well, you'd be a dumbass to not sit up and take notice.  As YouTuber Pablo Elias said in the first-ever comment on this video: "this guys know how to play post punk."

The two other great songs on this album, Children Of Desire, are the dense, Bailter Space-esque "In Nightmare Room" and the 11-minute "Become What You Are."  So go see Merchandise at a little club on their neverending tour before they either get huge or self-destruct.  From their website: "We’re putting the finishing touches on our next 12″, coming out via Iowa City’s impeccable Night People label. Should be out sometime in January. Touring will surely follow."  They recently did some shows opening for dazzling kindred spirits Wild Nothing.  And by the way, no, I don't think Merchandise are the next Smiths, because they don't have as many doofy, tedious filler songs as the Smiths.  In addition to the vocals, the unsung weapon that the bands share is funky, liquid-y basslines.

I like the "high art" quality of these recent woodcut-design posters by the An Idea Like No Other guys, but it seems to me that they're using centuries-old prints and not crediting the original artists, which, as an artist, is really uncool to me.  (One poster even has the artist's name visibly scratched out.)  Maybe the prints are so old that they're now considered part of the public domain, and hence the original artists no longer have to be credited, but I still think it's not a very punk thing to do.
Anyway, the concert was quite entertaining.  I filmed Merchandise doing their three best songs: "Time," "In Nightmare Room," and "Become What You Are."  I didn't take any pics.  The singer was really chatty beforehand (partly due to being drunk), and told me about the American Snakeskin 12" EP that they had at their merch table.  Fun Fact: He told me the woman on the cover of Merchandise's debut album (Strange Songs) In The Dark is the lead singer of the band Neon Blud, and maybe she was also in Amer. Snakeskin.  By the way, Loveless is a DJ, not a band.  Apparently it's usually a guy & gal, but it was just the guy at this show, and he wore a mask the whole time.  Noisy / danceable obscure '80s fare seems to be his / their specialty, and they apparently have a weekly gig at One Eyed Jacks, but I avoid any type of "'80s Night" as a rule.

At the Spanish Moon the other day, I asked Jack from Kindest Lines / The Public if he was into Merchandise.  He said KL had recently opened for M, but that he hates them because M's merch person stole KL's profits at said merch table.  I thought that was a weird reason to dislike a good band, but I didn't press further.

Find me at this tomorrow and I'll give you free record-buying guidance in exchange for free records or CDs from you:

This and the New Orleans Book Fair are stupidly scheduled on the same day this year, and at the exact same time, so I will have to pick music over books.

I was totally floored to see on the news yesterday that Mary Alvarez, co-owner of a plant nursery in Hammond, was killed (or died via suicide).  I only went there about three times and only bought a few plants (Foster's holly, white carnation) from them, but she was maybe the nicest person I've ever met.  The nursery is totally ramshackle and unorganized, with plants spilling out everywhere and hardly anything properly labeled; in other words, a plant-hunter's dream.  They have a big sprawling clump of Opuntia, a.k.a. prickly pear, cactus outside the front gate, and let me take a piece from it for free to start my own clump.  (See it at the 1:20 mark of the video.)  Unfortunately, I discarded it after I obtained a spineless variety growing in the yard next door to the Saturn Bar in N.O., but I may go back and get another piece at Alvarez.  People like the Alvarezes are a big reason why I've dedicated my life to horticulture, and people like them are the rule, not the exception, in this business.  Out of all the nursery owners I know from N.O. to Houma to Baton Rouge to Gramercy to Covington to Thibodaux to Prairieville, it's hard to pick which ones are the nicest, so I won't even try, but I can say these people have less overall petty angst towards life than your average citizen, due to being around plants every day and learning from an existential standpoint just how valuable life and nature are.  Even the older ones have an amazing youthful calm and inner vigor.  I would say my all-time favorites are Poochie and his wife at St. James Nursery in Gramercy; Wayne at Banting's in Bridge City; the ladies at The Cracked Pot in St. Rose; and the guys at Starke's in Houma.  When you grow an oak tree from an acorn, or a palm from a date seed, it makes you feel pretty useful in this world, yet also makes you feel very humble and small.  Plants are literally the lungs of the earth.  Give me a roomful of plant geeks over a roomful of anything else any day.  With Home Depot, Lowe's, Wal-Mart, KMart, etc. all selling plants nowadays, it's more important than ever to support independent plant nurseries, just as it is to support independent record stores, restaurants, etc.  Outsourcing the growing of plants to China is not something the Republicans have figured out how to do yet, and I intend to do my part to keep it that way.

17 of the saddest ex-celebrities on Twitter - "From Ian Ziering hawking anti-aging cream (rumor is he will actually call you if you fill out an inquiry) to Alfonso Ribiero selling a weight loss kit via their accounts, you can't help but think about how much more famous they would be if they had become stars today."

Planets with similar climates: Silkworm - "Quicksand" (1996), Echo & The Bunnymen - "The Killing Moon" (1983), The Sound - "Love Is Not A Ghost" (1984), The Comsat Angels - "The Eye Dance" & "Be Brave" (1981), Bailter Space - "Now I Will Live" (1987), The Church - "Tear It All Away" (1981), The Smiths - "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" (1986), The Public - "Ghosts" (2004).