Maria Minerva >> Northern star, what you are

Maria Minerva - "Luvcool" (a.k.a. "Lovecool")

(Not Not Fun Records, 2011)

This song is like a complex crystal built from deceptively simple molecules.  It's a perfect example of "less is more," and the importance of simply playing the right notes.  If that opening keyboard drone note was any lower or higher, it simply would not mesh with her voice the right way, and if Maria sang the opening word "Cool" differently, it would just not be as starkly beautiful.  Drea immediately remarked that this song has a real Twin Peaks feel to it, and I had to agree.

Maria Minerva was born Maria Juur in Estonia, and is now based in London.  She has written for the super-highbrow music magazine The Wire.  I had been hearing about her for the last year or so, as one of many artsy female electro-pop crooners.  After thinking about going to see her opening for Jesus & Mary Chain-esque retro fuzz-poppers Moon Duo, the evening arrived and still had not decided.  And there was a somewhat shockingly contentious Vice Presidential debate on TV.  The show was gonna start at 10 PM and I live an hour away.  I was quite sure I'd be able to see her when she returns as a headliner someday, but a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  9:00 rolled around; listening to some of her stuff on YouTube... "I'm a dude whose main love is shoegaze & post-punk type music; why do I even feel the need to see all these solo female electronic musicians?"  Striking me as a more less-girly, more "European" version of Grimes, or a less pretentious Laurie Anderson... 9:15... Listening to some more, still also listening to the debate in the other room... I forgot to shower tonight... 9:30... Welp, after listening to "Lovecool" (how it's spelled on YT) about 5 times and having my soul / mind just turn to warm lime jello, I realized this song would be haunting me for the rest of my life, and hence I had to go see her.  So at 9:45 I headed out.

Listened to MSNBC's post-debate analysis on the radio; WTUL's DJ played my request for George McCrae's "I Get Lifted" right as I pulled up to Siberia.  I had previously only been to two shows here, and one Record Raid.  In fitting with its name, the club now serves what is billed as New Orleans' only true Russian / Slavic food, so I ordered a $4 provolone blini (Russian crepe) and $2 grilled asparagus while watching a blonde-looking lady setting up some equipment onstage in the nearly-empty building.  It turned out to be Maria, who I guess dyes her hair darker in her videos.  She began by saying "Can you guys come in closer, away from the bar?" and some people obeyed.  There were film clips projected behind her the whole time.  She had some sound problems, due to getting to the club right before 10; "This is what happens when you don't have a sound check," she said apologetically at one point after having to restart a song, and I had flashbacks to Grimes' performance at Tulane's quad last March.  She only played for 30 minutes, and did not do "Luvcool," so I was disappointed, but was still glad I had gone, since I would have always been wondering if she played it or not.  I think most of the crowd was a bit dumbfounded by her music, especially the singing.  Like many great singers her voice can admittedly sound off-key until your ears adjust to her style.  I could sense some snickering going on just based on how people were turning to their neighbors and talking while smiling.  (For example, Bob Dylan has a terrible voice but is a great singer, if that makes any sense.)  I think her voice is more suited to icy, almost-whispered songs like "Luvcool," just as Grimes' voice is better-suited to songs like "Be A Body."  She could totally become the go-to female guest vocalist in all of indiedom, not just in synth-popdom or chillwavedom.  I'm not trying to turn this site into Hipster Runoff or anything, but hopefully Maria will supplant the rather boring and pretentious Zola Jesus.

It's kind of freaky how much she resembles my dad's sister Kathleen.  I also kept thinking to myself how much she resembles Lindsey Vonn, even down to the height (probably almost 6 feet) and the frankly startling Olympic swimmer build, which was only startling because most indie dudettes & dudes tend to be so rail-thin and lacking in musculature.  Those N. Europeans are generally the most unweak on earth, which you'd know if you've ever watched those World's Strongest Man or CrossFit competitions on ESPN2.  Maria Minerva is probably Lindsey Vonn.  Maria Minerva is Lindsey Vonn.  Maria Minerva is the world's foremost female downhill skiier.  Lindsey Vonn is the most meteorically-rising composer of electronic avant-pop.  Maria Minerva was on a Wheaties box.

Pic with no flash during middle of her set, showing projected video

Pic with flash during her last song; the flash obviously killed the video

I took one flash pic as I on my way out the door to get a few moments of refreshing air; this turned out to be at the end of her last song.  Camera battery died soon after, so the existence of the pic itself is sort of a miracle.  Saw her outside a little later and gave my standard "Good show."  Her accent is quite odd, since English is probably not her main language; she sounds kind of like Marlee Matlin.  I was wearing a black shirt with 4 gold dolphins and the word "MAUI."  "Mah-oo-ee?" (or something like that) she asked, while touching the word on the shirt.  I told her I came in just to see "Luvcool" and added "and you didn't play it, or at least I don't think you did."  She confirmed she didn't, and asked if I had seen the video.  I said yeah.  She said she can't play it live because she no longer has the computer on which she composed it about 3 years ago, which had all the synth presets; I forgot if she said it had been stolen or if she just lost it.  I told her she should re-record it and should definitely keep working on it / start playing it, but I stupidly forgot to ask her what the song is about.  Also forgot to ask if she tried the club's food to see if it passed the authenticity test.  She said she was surprised at the low turnout because "Moon Duo are big," so I explained the neighborhood's new no-concert-flyers rule.  I asked if opening act Sir Stephen (misspelled on the chalkboard outside as Sir Stephan) had gone on before I got there, and she said "No, he's on next.  He's my fwend; you should come back inside and watch him."  Then she indicated that the convo was over when she reached out and shook my hand and said that she had to go back inside.  So yeah, that was my little 5-minute brush with the next Laurie Anderson or Grimes or, if she gets more into multimedia stuff, Miranda July.  Her future stardom is all but a given.  She has boundless charisma, friendliness and energy, and zero ego whatsoever, so it's weird that people probably think of her as an "ice queen" based on her music / image.

Other show tidbits: DJ Perpetual Care played Kraftwerk's "Trans Europe Express" and "Numbers," among dozens of other songs.  In fact, the vast majority of the music came from his decks, since there was only 75 mins. of live music in the 3.5 hours I spent there.  Sir Stephen, with trumpeter in tow, got bumped.  DJ PC pointed me to him, so we chit-chatted and he apologized and seemed really bummed out.  He's a local dude on 100% Silk Records, a disco-ish offshoot of Not Not Fun, hence he and Maria are basically labelmates.  He told me he and Maria had just met tonight, so I thought it was cute that Maria already thought of him as a friend.  But that's just her personality: super-friendly as fuck.

I put 2011 as the date at the top of this page, even though I mentioned that she said she recorded the song about 3 years ago, which would be around 2009 or early 2010.  If you stole her computer, please return it to me.

Staking Chinese Pistachio trees with Parkway Partners peeps, incl. Nell Howard, Tim Hurley, and two guys whose names I have temporarily forgotten.  This was the biggest and most annoying tree, so we had to rock the roots back and forth to sever some of them.  Pic by my sis, who provided moral encouragement and called this pic the "Iwo Jima moment."  I'm in the red Drew Brees jersey, as I mentioned before:

Mon. Oct. 15: Saw MONO at the Spanish Moon for the fourth time; Chris Brokaw (ex-Codeine guy) opened.  More on that show next time maybe.

Today: Tamaryn's new album drops, but they are not coming here on their tour with the equally dream-poppy Young Prisms.  Still mad at myself for skipping the Prisms last year.  Tamaryn's new single is sorta forgettable, not nearly as amazing as "Dawning" (then again, what is?), but the new album is allegedly more radio-friendly as a whole.
Probably going to eat at GW Fins tonight for my parents' anniversary, even though it's a seafood restaurant and I don't eat seafood.

Oops: Without permission, Paul Ryan and family show up washing clean dishes at Ohio soup kitchen - "The Post reports that Ryan made the unscheduled stop after an event at Youngstown State University, and was there for about 15 minutes.  But though the pictures taken show Ryan apparently doing dishes, the food had already been served and everything had already been cleaned before he got there."

Planets with similar climates: Julee Cruise & Angelo Badalamenti - "Falling" (1989), Memoryhouse - "Lately" (2009), Laurie Anderson - "Walking & Falling" (1982), Chairlift - "Cool As A Fire" (2011), Slowdive - "Losing Today" (1990), Insides - "Darling Effect" (1993).

Section 25 >> New day, clear day

Section 25 - "New Horizon"

(Factory Records, 1981; LTM Recordings, 1991/2000; Drastic Plastic Records, 2010)

Following a long, stunningly tense, hypnotic ambient intro, one of the most astonishing and sexy basslines ever cruises in from the æther and just dominates dat ass.  Hyperbole?  Decide for yourself.  The bassline and the snappy drumming give a cold, rubbery funkiness to this song, and the bass has that round, fat tone that I love.  The lyrics consist of mundane motivational-type phrases being repeated in a catatonic way atop random squalls of guitar.  Anyone reading the lyric sheet would think this was a corny children's ditty, but the musical presentation makes it menacing and quite heartbreaking.  It actually reminds me a bit of the last line of American Music Club's "Sick Of Food": "Another bright... nothing. Another... day."  Getting out of bed in the morning sure is an underrated component of success in life; as Woody Allen once said, "90% of life is just showing up."  An ambiguous line near the end: "It's a clear blue, a new clear blue" or "It's a clear blue, a nuclear blue."  If only we could goad George W. Bush into belting it out at a karaoke bar, the world would finally know what the actual lyric was.  This song could be said to have invented the musical genre called slowcore a good decade before most U.S.-based critics decided that it arose in America.  This mp3 is taken from my 2000 LTM Recordings CD reissue, which has a ton of bonus tracks and an extensive essay on the band.  You can read the essay here.

It's a great demonstration of the power of repetition, and proof that the sum can be much greater than the parts.  Any overly-wordy songwriting would've defeated the purpose.  Reggae and dub were hugely influential on lots of U.K. post-punk bands, which is of course why they tended to have such killer basslines, since stupid-ass American punk bands were too busy trying to sound like the Ramones.  Keep in mind that this is from Section 25's bleak early years, before they added a female singer and went synth-pop and scored a club hit with the undeniably catchy and Knight Rider-esque "Looking From A Hilltop".  I'm sure this only fanned the flames of those who liked to make "First they pulled a Joy Division, then they pulled a New Order" jokes, but in the end, in a perfect world at least, a band shalt be judged by the sum total of good songs that it recorded, even if they have to reinvent themselves at various times.  I also have their From The Hip album, but like I mentioned earlier, it was from their unabashedly synth-pop-ular era, so be forewarned.

From the Always Now CD booklet

Just because Section 25 is not exactly a very sexy band, here is inevitable future star Corina Calderón, protagonist of that movie All She Can (a.k.a. Benavides Born) that I mentioned in the last post:

Yes, this individual plays a powerlifter in the movie All She Can

I don't like to objectify women, but come on, we've all laid out at the beach, and we've all stretched on the floor by our fireplace, right?  These are everyday activities.  I've known many a great Latina lady in real life, and they are taking over Hollywood, so I don't want Cor-Cal to get lost in the shuffle.  She reminds me a bit of the (part Chilean) blogger / provocateur Natasha Vargas-Cooper.  Snookie is Chilean, but I don't count her as part of the "taking over" group.

Ron Swanson's Pyramid Of Greatness might help you to solve that thing that you need to solve.

Revenge is a dish best served pink

Planets with similar climates: For Against - "Echelons" (1986), Poem Rocket - "Contrail de l'avion" (1994),  Sonic Youth - "Society Is A Hole" (1984), Joy Division - "I Remember Nothing" (1979), Interpol - "Untitled" (2002), Idaho - "Year After Year" (1993), The Comsat Angels - "Gone" (1981), The Sound - "Possession" (1981), Stone Roses - "I Wanna Be Adored" [full 5-minute album version] (1985/89).

Doldrums >> They don't care what time it is now

Doldrums - "Weird Orbits"

(VHF Records, 1995)

It's reverb time, motherfuckers.  If you are so unpatriotic that you don't know what reverb is, you will learn after a few seconds of this song have elapsed.  Though it's mainly used on guitars and keyboards, reverb is also used pretty frequently on vocals; e.g. the singer from My Morning Jacket.  This song from their album Secret Life Of Machines, whose title is of course based on a curious Stevie Wonder album which was a soundtrack to a film about plant life.

Doldrums are what seafarers call areas around the equator with little to no prevailing winds, where a sailed vessel can easily get stuck.  Wind is actually "born" here.  No, seriously: I've seen footage in a world climate documentary (I think it was that one called Planet Earth) of someone standing on a beach near the equator who simply held up a leaf and let go of it, so that it fell towards the sand.  It hung suspended for a few moments, and eventually floated up and away into the æther.  The word is also used to describe sadness, but I don't know which term came first.  Doldrums is a band that grew out of the Virginia experimental band Rake..  Whereas Rake. (it's always spelled "Rake." with a period after it) were prankster-ish, iconoclastic, and kitchen-sink, Doldrums were more atmospheric and mysterious, at least on this album.  The cool thing is that they didn't use synths and other electronic gizmos, which most ambient musicians rely on.  They just plug in their guitars and basses and crank up the ol' reverb and delay to create vast washes of sound, like blue whales sighing or a desert of opals melting.  They did a good job of putting the ghost in the machine with this song.  The airy, crisp, jazzy drumming is the ideal counterfoil to the spacious brushstrokes of guitar.  It's really difficult to describe what genre this song is, as it blends ambient, space rock, post-rock, and dream pop.  Man, this song makes me so proud to have been born in Virginia, birthplace of 14 of our nation's 44 Presidents.  It should seriously be the state's anthem.  "Weird Orbits" segues seamlessly into the album's second track, the 15 minute instrumental opus "Colossal Scissors".  (Great potential band name alert...)  I would say Lustmord's creeptacular ambient classic Heresy is the only album I can think of that uses reverb as prominently / boldly as Secret Life Of Machines.  Slowdive and Low used it to great effect on their early stuff, Windy & Carl made a career out of it, and The Orb used it in some of their "ambient house" soundscapes.  So yeah, go buy a reverb pedal and play a guitar through it and you'll hear entire new worlds unfurling before your eyes.  My amp, a Fender Prosonic, has allegedly the largest spring reverb tank of any amp ever made, hence I don't need a reverb pedal.

Doldrums' next album, Acupuncture, had song structures based more on krautrock / prog; that was the first Doldrums album I bought, on promo CD in '98.  They apparently broke up after their 1999 album Desk Trickery on Kranky.

I found out there's a band named Secret Life Of Machines, but I dunno if they're named after this album.

This CD's artwork features some beautiful photos of our avian friends:

Speaking of orbits and space rock(s), here's one of my favorite thinkers, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson:

Neil deGrasse Tyson is officially the sexiest astrophysicist alive

Why do smart kids grow up to be heavier drinkers? - "Smart people booze so we can tolerate everyone else.'"

Tile your home with recycled money

A few weeks ago I finally went to Tickfaw State Park on a 95º day.  Nabbed two seedlings: a Callicarpa americana (American Beautyberry) and a Saururus cernuus (Lizard's Tail).  Played basketball at an indoor court for a few hours.  Had a semi-slumber party with my sister and her friend Ashley last week. Missed a concert by The Weeknd (House Of Blues, June 12th) because it sold out online literally as I had just reached for my wallet to whip out the credit card.  Flaming Lips / Grimes (June 28th) tickets also sold out right before my wallet-reaching, but I think we have a source for free tix to that one.  My sister is now addicted to Grimes, so missing that show is not an option.  Speaking of Grimes, the Doldrums in this post is not the Doldrums that appears on her latest album.  The one on her album is a techno dude from Canada.

Also recently: Saw some movies, including Boy A, The Dinner Game, American Heart, a Rodriguo y Gabriela tour documentary, Vitus, Skin, and The Brooke Ellison Story.

Planets with similar climates: Slowdive - "Albatross" (1991) & "Losing Today" (1990), Windy & Carl - "Undercurrent" (1998), Bark Psychosis - "All Different Things" (1989), Bowery Electric - "Coming Down" (1996).

Dome w/ Angela Conway >> The whispers grow into a solid shout

Dome w/ Angela Conway - "Cruel When Complete"

(Dome Records, 1980 / The Grey Area / Mute / Elektra Records, 1991 / The Grey Area / Mute, 1992)

I'm not much of a Wire fan at all, but this minimalistic side project of theirs was pretty intriguing, based on the few songs I've heard by it.  For a song that's barely even there, it makes a pretty big impression.  Too bad Wire couldn't capture this chilly, cinematic vibe in more of their own stuff.

I got this song 2 years ago on an interesting Mute Records compilation from 1991 called Tyranny Of The Beat.  The CD booklet aptly describes this song as "elegant blocks of sweet noise free-floating through space."  I have to wonder if this album was a big influence on A.R. Kane, Hugo Largo, Bark Psychosis, and other quiet, abstract groups that came along later in the decade.

Side A of Dome's 1980 self-titled debut LP. Note: The stripey block design is a grayscale version of the album cover itself.

Angela Conway also recorded under the alias A.C. Marias, and released an album under that name on Mute in 1989 titled One Of Our Girls (Has Gone Missing).  She is now "a successful music video director."

In 1991, Mute released a VHS home video concurrently with the Tyranny Of The Beat CD.  It featured this Dome video, which could be described as the most hilariously botched soundcheck in recorded history, or as brilliant deconstructionist pop art:

Yikes... Hopefully Conway didn't "direct" that one...

Sunday, May 6: Made a last-minute decision to go to Jazz Fest, with Em & Damion.  Had my dad watch the video for "Best Of You" right before he dropped us off.  Delivered some cigars from him to Jeff in his patrol car outside the front gate of the fest right before going in.  Saw the Foo Fighters' whole 2-hour set, which started off great, then sucked for a while, then ruled at the end with "Best Of You" & "Everlong."  Moshing like crazy to the latter in the mud at End Fest '97 was one of the top highlights of my concertgoing life, so this time couldn't really hold a candle to that, but it was still good.  I spent about an hour staring at this girl in the crowd who looked exactly like this sex blogger named Pocket, trying to determine if it was her.  Speaking of candles, the Foos presented their guitarist with a birthday cake near the end, which marks the second time I've seen that happen in the last two weeks.  Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings then stole the show in the Blues Tent.  Also saw a bit of Maze, the Preservation Hall 50th anniv. celebration (with vox on a song called "Freight Train" by Ani Difranco), and the Neville Brothers (with a guest appearance by Trombone Shorty).

Went to the Mushroom that night on a hunch that Sam might be there, and she was.  I had only seen her once in the prev. 6 months, and was worried that she no longer worked there.  I brought some satsumas that I swiped from my parents' kitchen.  She immediately strode up grilled me on why I was not at the free Roky Erickson / Thurston Moore show the previous night at One Eyed Jacks, and excitedly told me all about it.  She got one of Thurston's lyrics sheets from the stage.  I saw The Orb's first album (the abridged 1-CD version, unfortunately) in the used CD racks and recommended it, so she put it on, and all of its weird samples sounded amazing on their incredible surround-sound stereo system, with speakers in all the various nooks and crannies of the store.  Got Hüsker Dü's Zen Arcade (double LP), a stunning Joy Division poster, and Pet Shop Boys' "It's A Sin" (7").  I rec'd Drive Like Jehu's Yank Crime to her, so hopefully she dug it.  I think she and I must've been brother and sister in a past life.

They also had an amazing "Love Will Tear Us Apart" poster, which I was going to buy until I found the "Atmosphere' one.

Yesterday, May 8: My neighbor helped me take out this ugly 8x10 foot concrete slab in the backyard with just a 10-lb. sledgehammer, with a trick he taught me a trick in which you slightly raise part of the slab with a pry bar and then jam a rock under the slab.  This forms an air layer underneath the slab, so it makes spiderweb cracks very readily when struck.  So in a few minutes I singlehandedly turned that bitch into rubble with a few dozen hits, after procrastinating over it for a multitude of years.  Sure wish I had video of that.  A few hours prior to that yesterday, I took this snapshot in my car door's window before heading to a dollar store:

Today: He, my neighbor, gave(!) me a ~300-400 gallon pond liner that he had laying around.  He had been using it as a satellite pond next to one of his other ones for about a year before removing it for some reason.  I think May 2012 has probably been the best month of my life so far in terms of people doing considerate things for me and having illuminating conversations with me.  I should mention this neighbor is often referred to as "the bird man" due to his extensive collection of birds in aviaries in his backyard.  He's as big of a plant nut as I am, if not bigger, so we always talk about plants and landscaping philosophies, e.g. tree trimming, shade creation, propagation.  Some of his big Live Oaks, which he planted 30 years ago, can be seen in the pic above.  I'm not sure if I could ever move back to New Orleans after being spoiled by living out in the country since Katrina.  But if I did, I would need a big fucking yard.  The ones out here are about 5-20 times bigger than ones of houses of equivalent value in NOLA, which can be either a blessing or a curse, depending on one's enthusiasm for yard work and tree upkeep.

Jermaine Paul just won season 2 of a show called The Voice, which I don't watch.  I had seen him singing backup vocals (& occasional lead vox during the numerous time when she was offstage changing outfits) at an Alicia Keys concert on St. Patrick's Day '04.  You could practically hear the panties dropping around the New Orleans Arena every time the dude took the mic.  (The crowd was probably 80%+ female.) My only qualm is that I'm not sure why a seasoned pro was allowed to be on an amateur singing competition.  Check him out stealing the show in AK's song "Diary".

Millions Against Monsanto: The food fight of our lives - "Finally, public opinion around the biotech industry's contamination of our food supply and destruction of our environment has reached the tipping point. We're fighting back."

Love him or hate him, Bryce is here - "And let’s face it, his name is Bryce. BRYCE. That could only be more irritating if his parents had gone with EdHardyNickelbackCrocs." ... "Harper is self-aware enough to know he’s antagonizing you. He’s baseball’s version of the guy who sits at a stoplight blasting 'Sexy & I Know It' at unholy decibel levels, staring directly at you through the window of your involuntarily rattling Subaru."

Meet the former right-wing blogger who realized conservatives are crazy

Related:

Planets with similar climates: A.R. Kane - "The Madonna Is With Child" (1988), The Comsat Angels - "Restless" (1981), Mazzy Star - "Mary Of Silence" (1993), Low - "Shame" (1995), Slowdive - "Albatross" (1991), Sonic Youth - "Satan Is Boring" (~1984), Plexi - "Ordinary Things" (1996), Insides - "Yes" (1993), Chairlift - "Cool As A Fire" (2011), Bark Psychosis - "All Different Things" (1989).

Trial Of The Bow >> That's not a knife

Trial Of The Bow - ""Inverloch"

(Release Entertainment, 1994)

This is a pretty ethereal and somewhat menacing track, with a timeless feel that makes its origin hard to pinpoint.  It's a shame that Trial Of The Bow (no idea what the name means) only recorded one EP and one full-length.  This is from the EP, called Ornamentation.  I almost posted the more dynamic "The Two Sacred Tapestries Of Persia" or "From The Mountains Of Tangier", but decided "Inverloch" deserves to be better-known as a chillout classic.  They were from Melbourne, and this EP would make a great soundtrack for one of my favorite Aussie flicks, the existentially violent Walkabout, or for Picnic At Hanging Rock, which I just saw for the first time last month.  The song is named after the seaside town of Inverloch in Victoria, Australia.  This one goes out to ManiacEyeball.

AllMusic Guide says "In addition to the use of the standard guitar/bass/drum setup, the duo also uses several exotic instruments, including the tabla, hammer dulcimer, tamboura, manjira, bansuri flute, and e-bow. Their lengthy, evocative, contemplative drones take cues from several ageless sources, alternating from haunting to soothing."
They actually made an official music video for the song, which I have on one of those Rock Video Monthly VHS tapes.  It's also on YouTube, sadly at only 240p.  The video's director (username: warmcola) said "I made this video waaaay back in 1994, shot on Super VHS and edited together on my Uni's brand spanking new AVID... Great to see it again."

Sept. 1995 VHS; Trial Of The Bow's EP cover is at bottom right

This VHS has videos for some amazing, era-defining songs by Buffalo Tom ("Summer"), Matthew Sweet ("We're The Same"), Better Than Ezra ("In The Blood"), and Faith No More ("Evidence"), and is capped off perfectly by the "Inverloch" vid.  I have a bunch of these RVM VHS tapes but since the advent of YouTube I never watch them.

Well, I was pretty mad about the ridiculously poor sound mix that Swervedriver had inflicted upon them by the Jimmy Fallon show (or I guess by NBC in general) last Monday.  It totally neutered their sound and made them sound muddy and amateurish, whereas in reality nothing could be further from the truth about them.  Maybe their sheer volume simply overloaded the limiters / attenuators and caused the levels to be artificially low?

I found this magazine the next day in someone's trash on the curb, a few minutes before a massive storm came through.  It's a beautiful, Anton Corbijn-esque shot in every way.  I think I'm going to frame the cover, since I'm really into desert plants; the pic is of a group of Joshua trees (Yucca brevifolia), of course.  December '93 was a really rough time for me for several reasons, so this cover helps me reboot my brain when it comes to how I remember that time.

Going back a few weeks...

March 20: Saw Alcest (from France), Deafheaven (from San Francisco), and Whom Do You Work For? (from NOLA) at The Big Top.  It was probably the smallest crowd that Alcest, a hybrid shoegaze-metla band, has played to in years, but they were appreciative.  WDYWF? stole the show, in my mind at least, with their edgy, Slint-y, CAN-y, controlled chaos.  I recommended A.R. Kane's "Green Hazed Daze" to their singer afterwards, and he immediately typed it into his phone as a reminder.  Also bought their new CD-R EP, which comes in several different spray-painted covers.

Flyer showing upcoming shows put on by An Idea Like No Other + a show preview from local zine Antigravity

I snapped a pic even though lots of people were taking better ones up front:

They probably haven't played on a stage this small in many years

March 23: Saw two concerts by Dutch saxophonist Tineke Postma at the Manship Theatre in Baton Rouge.  Esperanza Spalding is no longer her bassist, unfortunately, but it was very good nonetheless.

March 24: The annual spring Record Raid at Tulane.  Got a bunch of stuff I never thought I'd find, such as Band Of Susans' Love Agenda (LP), the influential ambient compilation Ambient 4: Isolationism (2xCD), and other stuff like some Massive Attack, Idaho, Miles Davis, and Breathless.  Talked to this girl Candice who remembered talking to me at a Broken Water show two years ago, and even remembered that I was wearing a James Chance & the Contortions shirt that night.  Wow.  She showed me a Wipers tattoo on her tricep; I think it said "Is this real?"  Bought a New Bloods 7" and a Hell-Kite cassette from her booth, plus she tipped me off to a zine with a semi-nude photo of Broken Water on the back cover, so I of course bought that.  Also met some other really cool people, including a guy who was at a Trans Am show I saw in '99 (see upcoming post on that) and his wife, Kathi.  She was, unbeknownst to me, DJing when I called in to WTUL to ask about a song (which turned to be from Belong's latest album) a few days later, and recognized my voice, so we talked for a few minutes.  I requested something by Seefeel, whom she had never heard of; I told her to pick any song and she ended up choosing "Climactic Phase #3".

March 29: Was driving around in east Baton Rouge near Prairieville and saw a Blockbuster Video that was going out of business, so I hit it hard for a few hours and got some obscure foreign films.

March 31: Went to the annual Dept. of Parks & Parkways plant sale at Dillard.  Got a huckleberry tree, a spicebush, and two little flowering plants.  Talked about lots of obscure plant topics with a DPP employee named Skip; decided to name the huckleberry tree after him because his praise of the species led me to buy it.

This post's title is everyone's favorite line from a certain famous Aussie movie, duh.

130 Simpsons episodes at once

Planets with similar climates: Steve Roach & Robert Rich - "Touch" (1992), Miles Davis - "He Loved Him Madly" (1974), Brian Eno - "Lantern Marsh" (1982), Bark Psychosis - "Pendulum Man" (1993).

Biosphere >> The things I tell you will not be wrong

Biosphere - "The Things I Tell You"

(Origo Sound [Norway]; All Saints Records [U.K.]; Thirsty Ear Records [U.S.], 1997 / Touch [U.K.], 2001)

Biosphere is a guy named Geir Jenssen from Tromsø, Norway.  This song has several different parts, kind of like a condensed, intergalactic, ambient-ified version of Tortoise's "Djed."  This song, as well as "Hyperborea," has cryptic vocal samples from the TV series Twin Peaks.  Well, on this song the sample is supposedly from there, but on "Hyperborea" it definitely is.  (Thanks mom for giving me the full DVD set of Twin Peaks for Xmas.)  I don't know the context of the sample used in this track, but it makes me think of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey or GERTY in the brilliant recent flick Moon.  The name Biosphere, the album name, and many of the song titles show that Jenssen has a keen interest in science.

I'm not sure if this album could've been made in a warm, humid climate, since the feeling of vast coldness and ice permeates almost every fiber of its being.  In fact, one track is named after a species of Arctic grass called Poa alpina.  A related grass called Poa annua is an annoying weed throughout America, and I actually pulled a bunch of it today.  I actually wrestled for a long time over whether to post that one or this one.  It was like wrestling with a bear; to be specific, a large bear, about 6-8 feet in torso length, that has platinum claws and lots of stamina when it comes to wrestling; but I think we all know I emerged victorious.

I usually try to provide only non-remastered songs, but in this case, I'm giving the 2001 remastered version on Touch.  (They prefer to be called just Touch, rather than Touch Records.)  It's not like remastering has that big of an impact on ambient music, after all; I do have the original '97 mp3s as well, but on a different computer.  The 2001 version was subtly retitled Substrata², and comes with a bonus CD as well as totally different cover art.  I bought it used at the wonderful, kitchen-sized Skully'z Recordz in the Quarter, and according to my RYM account I bought it on June 3, 2009.  I downloaded the original version some years prior.  I just found out that the album was reissued yet again just last year, on LP only, with an entirely new (third) cover and a long bonus track named "Laika," on Jenssen's own label Biophon Records.  So in the world of ambient music, this could safely be called an acknowledged classic.  It was even bootlegged in Russia!  Talk about a... COLD WAR.  To inspect and peruse all the various versions, go here.

Back cover of Norwegian CD

Clear CD tray of the 2001 remaster with icy photo underlay

The site Tiny Mix Tapes is like a more irreverent, non-corporatized, generally non-horrible version of Pitchfork.  Their news articles are usually pretty funny, but I think the title of this one is the funniest I've ever seen: Mount Carmel release Real Women on Siltbreeze; this is an album release story, not a headline about a hostage scenario

Also, you may remember the amazing song "Willing To Follow You Down" by Lowercase which I posted during California Month last year.  TMT did an interesting article about another brilliant song from that album, "Floodlit," and its similarity to a recent song by Cloud Nothings.  (And correctly traces both songs back to their Slint-y primordial ooze.)

As for Pitchfork, I've never really talked about them on here, though I think I've given them a lot of swipes here and there, such as in the Twin Sister post in January.  I've gone to their site literally every weekday for over a decade, though I still refuse to ever add pitchformedia.com to my bookmarks list on any of the three computers I've had in that span.  Every morning I type in "pi" in my browser window, then let it autofill the evil URL.  I visit the site, check out the news section while trying to mentally filter out all the expected stories about Radiohead / White Stripes / Kanye / Neutral Milk Hotel / Arcade Fire / etc., see if any overhyped disc has been awarded the "Best New Music" tag (Pitchfork even has an adjective form of this tag that they like to throw around to such albums: "BNM'd"), then, most importantly, check the tourdates section.  So there you have it.  Those of you who remember the site from its early days will recount tons of witheringly funny headlines, but those went by the wayside in the early '00s once it became a money-making juggernaut that can't afford to step on anyone's toes.  The main source of humor for me on the site for the last several years has been to see how many releases have been given a grade in the mid-7's.  I swear to g-d, almost everything on there gets a wishy-washy 7.3 to 7.7 grade.  It would take a long time to explain why this is so hilarious to me, but it goes back to the "can't afford to step on anyone's toes" thing.  This is the same site that infamously gave the Flaming Lips' Zaireeka a 0.0 and then began vigorously sucking on the Lips' teat (meaning: reporting breathlessly and enthusiastically on every tiny detail of that band's career) ever since.  This is the same site that does 5 reviews per weekday, 25 a week, about 100 a month, about 1200 a year, but has rarely even reviewed any of my favorite albums of the last 10-15 years.  So I would have to dispute the claim that it's a site that is supposedly really tuned in to the underground.

Check out this fascinating page of Natural Born Killers trivia on IMDB

Awkward: Coolio and son locked up in same prison
I actually used to respect Coolio despite his lame music, since he was a firefighter, and I had read that he was a Desert Storm soldier, though the latter is apparently not true.  In any case, I just gleaned this horrifying factoid on Wikipedia: "While touring with hip hop duo Insane Clown Posse, Coolio received a tattoo as a [sic] homage to the group's fanbase, reading 'Jugalo Cool'. He stated that the misspelling was intentional. Coolio has performed at the Gathering of the Juggalos, and identifies as a Juggalo."  You are dead in my eyes, Coolio.

Planets with similar climates: Rapoon - "A Softer Light" (1997), Seefeel - "Signals" & "Silent Pool" (1993), Scanner - "Underwater" (1995).

Autumnfair >> Spring can really hang you the most

I can't believe it's still California Month, tremor #46:

Autumnfair - "Black Spring"

(Nate Starkman & Son Records Records, ca. 1988 / Mobilization Records, 2002)

"Black Spring" is a super-eerie ambient mindwarp, totally different from anything else this synthy post-punk / goth band ever released.  It's a shame they didn't record an entire ambient album.

This track originally appeared on a 1988 V/A compilation LP called The October Country, on a very cool label called Nate Starkman & Son.

This mp3 is from their 2002 compilation CD on Mobilization Recs. (a label run by Ethan Port of Savage Republic) with the truly horrible title 1986-1989.  The music on it is very impressive, showing fluency in all the key trends obsessed over by people with KROQ hair in the '80s, with charisma that was lacking in most of those bands, and some of the most mind-blowingly cool guitar textures this side of Sonic Youth or Plexi.  This compilation includes all six songs from Autumnfair's lone release, a 1991 10" called Glaciers And Gods on Independent Project Records, plus six more previously-unreleased tracks.  It does not contain "Naomi" from The October Country, though.  Some of them have (sonorously pleasant) male vocals and some have (rather grating) female vocals.  I highly recommend the song "Collide."  I was gonna post it, but the mp3 has bad clipping.  As you can guess, "Read My Lips" samples a certain George H.W. Bush speech.  Those boneheads Ministry of course later had a minor hit single by sampling GHWB's "New world order" speech.
Autumnfair was founded by Thom Fuhrmann of Savage Republic and Val Haller of Lords Of The New Church, making this band one of many noteworthy SR offshoots (Scenic, Fourwaycross, 17 Pygmies, Medicine, etc.).  Greg Grunke of SR apparently was also an auxiliary member of Autumnfair, but I don't know if he played on "Black Spring."

I'm really glad I stumbled onto this compilation recently, because I was worried I wouldn't have a good ambient track to post during this Californiastravaganza.  I'm not sure if "Black Spring" would make a good theme song for Black Spring Break, but there's only one way to find out.

Needing a title for this post, I resorted to making a lazy pun on a jazz standard that has been sung by countless dames of song; Ella did it best, in my opinion.  More recently, Jolie Holland wrote a catchy ditty called "Springtime Can Kill You".  Ladies, ladies...

Depressed, mopey humans can learn a lot from the will to live exhibited by plants and "lesser" animals of this world.  For example, see this photo I took of an elm tree stump regrowing along the Lake Pontchartrain bike path in Metairie, on 12/6/06.  Tree stumps only regrow from their edges, because the wood in the middle is dead.  Palms, being a more primitive type of plant called a monocotyledon, are the exact opposite, with the outside being dead and the center alive.  It took me a long time to notice that, even though I'm a plant fanatic.

Bloods, Crips, Juggalos?  FBI: Insane Clown Posse fans are gang

Planets with similar climates: Coil - "Dark River" (1991), Zoviet:France - "Thin Air" & "In My Secrecy I Was Real" (1990), Cluster - "Plas" (1972), Ennio Morricone - "The Watchers Are Being Watched" (1965).

Pocahaunted >> Dub trouble

California Month continued, tremor #35:

Pochaunted - "Ashes Is White"

(Arbor Records / Not Not Fun Records, 2008)

Pocahaunted were initially a dubby, droney, two-gal duo.  Yes, Bethany Cosentino was still in the band when they released this album, Island Diamonds, though she soon left to form Best Coast (a pun on "Beth Cose").  Despite the band's jokey name, and their slogan "the Olsen twins of blissed-out drone," this album is seriously dark, paranoid, and disorienting.  This song's music video ups the ante even further:

The repetition may get to some people, but at least listen to it once all the way through, with your mind.  I was actually going to post "Ghetto Ballet," but changed my mind for some reason which escapes me now, but probably because the singing is really annoying on it.  This album came out on limited colored vinyl in early 2008, then on CD with different cover art & two bonus tracks (the crushingly-heavy "Iron Shirt" and the atmospheric "Time Fist") later that year.

Singer Amanda Brown found herself ambushed on Penn & Teller's TV show Bullshit!:

After Beth Coast left and started dating that idiot from Wavves, Pocahaunted got a totally new lineup, with Brown as the only original member, and adopted a more funky, compact, party-oriented sound; this guy named Sun Araw is one of the new members.  I saw this lineup in 2010, but I couldn't help but wish I had seen the original duo lineup, which never played in my state, at least as far as I know.  They didn't play a single song from Island Diamonds.  New bassist Diva Dompé (daughter of Bauhaus' drummer) is one of the most attractive people I have seen, and likes to wear feathers and face paint onstage.  She now has some solo songs out under the name Diva.

Just watched the movie The Saint, which was not at all how I thought it'd be for all these years.  Pretty disappointing.  Yesterday in Lockport I bought four persimmons for a dollar from some people who had a huge persimmon tree in their yard and a sign advertising its wares.  Speaking of the Olsen twins, I recently found out they have a sister named Elizabeth, whom I have decided will be a big star.

CNN.com's top 10 topics for today, always a handy way to gauge what the world is talking about:

Planets with similar climates: Slowdive - "Moussaka Chaos" (1993), Medusa Cyclone - "Blind Witch" (1998), Lush - "Undertow" (1993), Morphine - "Down Love's Tributaries" (1993).

ILYA >> Time slips through my fingers

California Month, tremor #11:

ILYA - "Isola"

(Notsuperstitious Records [Japan], 2002 / Second Nature Recordings [U.S.], 2003)

ILYA, always spelled capitalized, were from San Diego, and their very uncatchy name was bogarted from a famous Russian writer.  This song is a nocturnal feast of dark corridors and regret, with two dueling tempos (fast drums vs. slow vocals) giving it a disconcerting overall feel.  It is possible that I have not put any song on mix CD's more often than this one.

This song originally appeared on the band's 2002 CD called Japanese Mini Album, which was released only in... Japan.  (That disc also has appallingly lame remix of the song by someone named The Snodgrass.  I listened to it over and over trying to convince myself to upload it here, but I failed to find anything good about it.  JMA does have some very good songs on it, though, especially "Celda.")  The mp3 I'm posting is from JMA, but it's identical to the one on the band's true debut album, Poise Is The Greater Architect.  I have recently ascertained that Poise was recorded from January to June of 2002, then was self-released locally by the band themselves in Nov. 2002, then was reissued nationwide in June 2003 by Second Nature Recordings.  And I found out that guitarist Duane Pitre is from New Orleans, hell yeah.

Inside view of the Japanese Mini Album CD

This song is not exactly what most people have in mind when they think of "California music," that's for sure...  There was also a more well-known, dancey band called Ilya in the '00s; they had to change their name to San Ilya, apparently since San Diego's ILYA were around first.  The dancey Ilya had an album called They Died For Beauty.  (So the one with San in its name is not the one from San Diego... confusing.)  AllMusic Guide said "It's pretty amazing that Ilya [sic] licensed music to several independent films, was nominated for Best New Artist in the San Diego Music Awards, was voted San Diego's Best Indie Band, ended up on the Urban Outfitters in-store play list, had a song on MTV's Sorority Life, and released this stunning debut all without a record deal.  The haunting group crosses Portishead with San Diego's chilling Black Heart Procession to make for a moody set of trip hop, jazz rhythms, atmospheric rock, and entwined piano melodies. On 'Isola,' Blanca Rojas' gentle, gin-joint vocals are a dead ringer for Björk torch-singing in a dive."

Here is a clip of Blanca Rojas laying down a vocal take (possibly the final take, in fact) for this song in the studio in 2002:

This very mpeg clip, which was posted on their website, ilyamusic.com, is the main reason I went to see them in Oct. 2003, though I think this show flyer which I got from a telephone pole on Tulane's campus was another main reason:

I became sort of obsessed with this song just from listening to its 30-second preview clip on a new little online gizmo called the iTunes Store.  So, thanks iTunes Store.  They were selling ILYA panties at the merch table (staffed by Blanca herself), but I don't think anyone bought any.  I did buy my Poise CD at that show, and I just opened it and found an ILYA sticker and a Second Nature sticker, plus a little sheet of paper talking about Pilotram (see below).  The other bands on the bill were The Gunshy, The Show Is The Rainbow (whom I missed), and locals Silent Cinema.  Since it was about a week before Halloween, Blanca walked through the crowd passing out candy during Silent Cinema's set!  Plus, it took place in the attic of a pizza place (Mama Rosa's Pizza) on the north edge of the French Quarter.  And I went to one night of the Canal Street Projection Project earlier that night.  To call it a very memorable night would be putting it mildly...  I took some low-quality video clips and photos which I'll post if I find them.
I drove almost 100 miles to Baton Rouge to see ILYA again the following June, on the night the Pistons beat the heavily-favored Lakers to win the NBA championship.  Mama Rosa's closed down due to Katrina; I never did eat any pizza there, since that was the only time I ever went.
Guitarist Duane Pitre is now somewhat well-known experimental / ambient composer based in New York City, under the moniker Pilotram.  I would have to presume he had a large role in creating "Isola"'s eerie background soundscapes.  (I unfortunately missed Pilotram opening for Tristeza in '05 because I got there late.)

In addition to kindly giving away a free mp3 of the great song "Disturbed", ILYA's label, Second Nature Recordings, gives this bio:
"Emerging out of the vibrant San Diego underground, ILYA creates languishing and soothing musical textures that tap into the subconscious stream of thought.  ILYA's full-length debut for Second Nature Recordings conveys a provocative blend of sounds and styles that are quiet and haunting one moment, a wall of sound and explosive percussion the next.  Combining elements of Portishead, My Bloody Valentine, The Black Heart Procession and Massive Attack, with caressing vocals reminiscent both of Bjork's breathlessness and Fiona Apple's poetic beauty, resulting in an elegant tapestry of trip-hop, atmospheric rock, electronica, and ambient jazz."

By the way, the climax of "Disturbed" was head-splittingly loud in concert, with the band's guitar & bass players practically falling over and onto each other while contorting their bodies; it came off as a possible spoof of the act of headbanging, but it was real... so real.  Blanca was always like a genie lost in her own little world, doing her interpretive body movements amidst the often threatening music being spun around her.

I found an exciting screenshot that someone named Azure Divina took of ILYA's website when it was ilya.com, circa 2003:

Fun Fact: The Poise cover model holding those eggs is someone named Sally Dalton, according to the CD booklet.

Planets with similar climates: PJ Harvey - "Down By The Water" (1994), Slowdive - "Missing You" (1993), Cocteau Twins - "My Love Paramour" (1983), The Emerald Down - "Heavier Than Ether, Lighter Than Air" (2001), Björk - "Army Of Me" (1995) & "Human Behaviour" (1993), Portishead - "Mysterons" (1993).

Michael Krassner >> Use your Aleutians

Michael Krassner - "Telegraph Hill"

(Atavistic Records, 1996)

This is another time-stoppingly haunting track from the Dutch Harbor: Where The Sea Breaks Its Back soundtrack; see previous post for more info if you missed it.  Gotta love the eerie samples of wind-ravaged surf in the background.  It kind of brings me back to the mid-'80s, on my dad's sailboat called the Green Toad* in San Francisco Bay, where the waves violently pound you nonstop, requiring the passengers to dart from one side of the boat to the other every few minutes/seconds in order to keep it from tipping over.  And the water is freezing cold year-round, not to mention a favorite haunt of great white sharks, and to top it off, the hulking corpse of Alcatraz is always looming in the background... Truly a miserable experience, but, as Calvin's dad always told him in Calvin & Hobbes, "It builds character."  Other than the sailboating thing, San Fran was absolute paradise to me.  Coincidentally, there's a famous Telegraph Hill in San Fran, the one with all the parrots which inspired a movie, but the one in this song title is apparently in Alaska.
*Our family's Buick sedan was called the Blue Bomb; my dad traded it for a bottle of wine ca. '85 before getting a Honda Accord and a GMC Jimmy.  He drove up to Oregon to get it because there's no sales tax there.  FWIW, today's Honda Civics are much bigger than that era's Honda Accords, since all American cars are incrementally getting bigger and more overpowered each model year in order to satisfy moronic American carbuyers, while people drive smaller and more efficient cars in Europe every year.  (The Civic is the Accord's little brother, if you didn't know.)  Despite its 90-or-so horsepower, that Accord was my favorite car to drive when I got my driver's license in March of '92, due to Honda's patented type of double wishbone suspension, which gives all Hondas / Acuras almost telepathically effortless steering.

As for this track, I've never seen a photo of Michael Krassner, but I can almost picture some gaunt, wild-haired guy sitting at a piano in a few feet of water on the Unalaska coastline in 30-below weather, plinking away at the ivories.  Astute readers will recall that this track was mentioned a few months ago in my National Skyline post, when I gave a list of my favorite piano performances.

Krassner put out a solo album in 1999, which is marred by Elliott Smith-y Sensitive Singer-Songwriter vocals and contains nothing like "Telegraph Hill," unfortunately.  He appears to be mainly a composer and/or producer.  In any case, here is hoping he does more of this minimalist piano stuff someday.  While I have indeed posted two tracks from this soundtrack, note that neither of them is by the main group (The Boxhead Ensemble) which did the majority of the album's music.  You'll have to just go get the album yourself to find out why I've raved about it so much.

Since your eyes need more Dutch Harbor-related imagery, here is a French DVD poster:

The one movie poster that out-pretentouses even the French

I recently dug up a slender 1978 tome that I've had for many years called Crazy Laws, by the unfortunately-named Dick Hyman.

I've almost given it away to thrift stores many a time, but each time I skim through it I am engulfed by a white-hot desire to keep it for a little longer.  Here are some highlights:

• "In Tennessee, you can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile."

• "It is unlawful to throw coal at another person in Harlan, Kentucky -- if the size of the lump exceeds three inches."

• "Lions may not be taken to the theater in Maryland."

• "In Garfield County, Montana, it is ordered that no one shall draw funny faces on window shades."

• "In Georgia, it is unlawful to slap a man on the back."

• "Unrestrained giggling is forbidden on the streets of Helena, Montana."

• "It is unlawful in Woonsocket, Rhode Island, to remove icicles from buildings by taking potshots at them with a gun or rifle."

• "A Chicago law forbids eating in a place that is on fire."

• "In Lawrence, Kansas, you can't carry bees around in your hat on the city streets."

• "It is against the law to tickle a girl in Norton, Virginia."

• "In Memphis, it is against the law for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of the car waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians."

• "A Trenton, New Jersey, ordinance states that it is unlawful to throw any tainted pickles in the streets."
• "To catch a whale in the inland waters of the state of Oklahoma is contrary to law." [I think this is the only whale-related item you'd find there.]

• "In Tulsa, Oklahoma, you cannot open a pop bottle unless a licensed engineer is present."

• "It is illegal in Nebraska to picnic twice on the same spot within any thirty-day period."

• "In Wilbur, Washington, it is against the law for a person to ride upon the streets on an ugly horse." [Please, folks, no Amy Winehouse jokes... It's just too soon.]

• "Providence, Rhode Island, law forbids you to leap over local bridges."

• "International Falls, Minnesota, forbids cats to chase dogs up telephone poles."

• "Vermont says that a woman cannot walk down the street on a Sunday unless her husband walks twenty paces behind her with a musket on his shoulder."

• "It is against the law to speak English in Illinois."

• "In Glendale, Arizona, it is against the law for a car to back up." [Except over an "illegal" immigrant, presumably, considering AZ's immigration stance.]

• "Kansas makes it unlawful to eat snakes on Sunday."

• "The town of Brawley, California, passed a resolution forbidding snow within the city limits."

• "In Atlanta, the law forbids diaper service trucks from having horns that play 'Rock-A-Bye-Baby.'"

• "The law says you can't drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time."

• "In Illinois, Macomb makes it illegal for a car to impersonate a wolf."

• "In Muskogee, Oklahoma, there is an old city ordinance that states that no baseball team shall be allowed to hit the ball over the fence or out of the ball park."

• "A Georgia law prohibits persons from saying 'Oh, Boy' in Jonesboro."

• "Women in Joliet, Illinois, can be jailed for trying on more than six dresses in one store."

• "Beards more than two and a half feet long are forbidden by law in Altoona, Pennsylvania."  [Hear that, Brooklyn hipsters?  No more ironic field trips to Altoona for you.]

• "In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatoes in clam chowder."

• "You can't say 'delinquency' on the streets of Marcus Hook, Pennsylvania."

• "In Winchester, Massachusetts, a young girl may not be employed to dance on a tightrope except in church."

Planets with similar climates: Harold Budd & Brian Eno - "Not Yet Remembered" & "The Plateaux Of Mirror" (1980), Roger Eno - "Whispering Gallery" (1994), Liz Story - "Speechless" (1988), Györgi Ligeti - "Musica Ricerata (Movement II)" (ca. 1951-53) (made famous in Eyes Wide Shut), (George Winston - "January Stars" (1982).


Currently eating or drinking: Stonefire Tandoori Naan flatbread; Mirassou 2009 California Pinot Noir; iChill Blissful Berry "relaxation shot".

Actual size; available at finer gas stations.